Ellie had extremely low self-esteem related to severe abuse, and she display inordinate amounts of anger at times. She was at the Ranch for about two years--and was there when I started. Her self-esteem was so low that she often refused to wash her hair and the staff had a difficult time getting her to shower and wear clean clothes.  It was her way of disappearing or being "invisible" since in her "old" life, disappearing would mean she could stay safe.

Ellie had been at the Ranch for about six months, when plans for the Christmas pageant were being made. At first, Ellie refused to participate.  She'd stand and not even mouth the words to the Christmas carols. Yet, those songs that Ellie had learned at church as a child inspired her to make an effort for they brought back some happy memories.

Little did Ellie know that Christmas brings gifts we may not realize until months or years later.

I attended several practices and was moved to tears by her pure, sweet voice as she sang "O Holy Night." All Ellie lacked was the confidence to let herself project that voice further out into the audience. When she finished singing, the other residents all clapped and yelled for her--and that was the continuation of Ellie's Christmas miracle.

Ellie said she hadn't had voice training, but I encouraged her to keep singing because she really had a beautiful voice. She said, "You're just saying that because you work here," which stunned me, since I thought the kids knew, really knew I cared, but that's trust... Ellie thought she had parents who really cared and then one hurt her more than she could imagine.

I told her, "Maybe you don't know me well enough yet, Ellie, but I truly, truly am moved by how you sing and I would not lie to you. I think you should continue singing whenever you can." She just nodded.

Ellie was a great success at the Christmas program and afterwards she glowed.

After a few more months at the residential center, Ellie was transitioned into the Fargo Youth Home, a less restrictive setting. I visited the home a lot, but on one particular day, Ellie was just getting home from the public school and she pulled me aside.

"I joined choir. I'm a soprano!" And she gave me a hug.

Everyone's encouragement helped this young woman realize a strength that would help her break out of a self-destructive mode and embrace a gift that started when she was a child singing Christmas carols in Sunday School.

Submitted by DBGR staff with permission.